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I'm still iron and I still can make it... rock on, on my own, at God's speed.
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ironsoul
Hey, will you let the rain in
just because outside is raining?
Does it matter to us here
under this roof?
Hey, girl your place's a kingdom
where you rule
so be a wise queen

Hey, will you let the rain in
just because outside is raining?
No more rain, no more rain
into this soul
Hey, girl your heart's a kingdom
where you rule
so be a wise queen.

25th-Jun-2009 04:14 pm - The person in the dark
ironsoul
useless babbling about my life, feel free to skip this. )
8th-Jun-2009 10:28 pm - Rise up
ironsoul
Rise up
When you feel you cant go on
Rise up
And all of your hope is gone
Rise up
When you're weak and you cant be strong
Rise up, Rise up
And when the tears start to fall
Rise up
And you feel you've given it your all
Rise up
When your back is up against the wall
Rise, Rise up


When all hope has fallen yeah
Rise up
We'll stand tall and believe
Rise, Rise up
And we gotta know tomorrow will come and
Rise, Rise up
You will have the victory
Rise up

In the middle, in the middle of your storm when you,
When you think you, when you think you cannot make it
rise up
31st-May-2009 09:32 pm - The solid truth
wth
Let's talk about it.
Why should a normal, sane man want someone as STUPID and naive has Hachi? I mean, come on. It's something I just can't understand. I think I'm smart, so I like smart guys. What will you talk about with someone so... so... STUPID?
But that's how it goes, isn't it? The more interesting a man is, the more stupid and pretty will be his woman, right? But it's not just about the face, is everything. It's a KIND of woman, right? Perfect and nice and pretty and bubbly and so on.
Ah, jeez. I think even more than in my next life I just want to be pretty and stupid, so I'll be easily happy. Who cares about brains after all, it all gets old the same.

PS: Ne-Yo is only trying to sell his stuff to people like me - but guess what? I download :D

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
porno paparazzi girls (yeah), I don't wanna be a stupid girl (uhhuh)

Go to Fred Segal, you'll find them there
Laughing loud so all the little people stare
Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne
droppin' names
What happened to the dream of a girl president
She's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent
They travel in packs of two or three
With their itsy bitsy doggies and their teeny-weeny tees

Where, oh where, have the smart people gone?
Oh where, oh where could they be? (yeah yeah yeah)

chorus:
Maybe if I act like that,(woo) that guy will call me back
porno-paparazzi girls, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Maybe if I act like that, flipping my blonde hair back (yeah)
Push up my bra like that (uh-huh), I don't wanna be a stupid girl

(Break it down now)
The disease is growing, it's epidemic
I'm scared that there ain't a cure
The world believes it and I'm going crazy
I cannot take any more!!!!
I'm so glad that I'll never fit in
That will never be me
Outcasts and girls with ambition
That's what I wanna see (c'mon)

Disasters all around
A world of despair
your only concern-
Will it fuck up my hair???????

chorus

(Do ya think? Do ya think? Do ya think?_
(I like this, like this, like this)

Pretty will you fuck me girl, silly, as a lucky girl
Pull my hair I'll suck it girl, stupid girl!
Pretty will you fuck me girl, silly, as a lucky girl
Pull my hair I'll suck it girl, stupid girl!

Maybe if I
Act like that,
Flipping my blonde hair back...
Push up my bra like that, stupid girl! (girl girl girl)

chorus

Maybe if I act like that.... push up my bra like that....
Stupid girl, stupid girl, stupid girl....



But this was written by a woman T_T.

 
 
23rd-Apr-2009 07:40 pm - 五年。 Deal?
ironsoul
God, I just need five more years in my life. I finally have a plan, a detailed plan of what I can do in these five years.
Finish my University. In the meanwhile, apply for the working part-time job into University (if my income level lets me D:) and learn Japanese for good (and if I am accepted - very unlikely- go to the USA with the exchange/teaching programme).
Find a way to get to Japan. Apply for every scholarship on Planet Earth, do the Civil Service in the meantime to raise some money (or find some other kind of job, whatever it is).
Go to Japan, one way or another. And enjoy myself for the first time in my life. But mostly, arrive somewhere where I wanted to be thanks only to my brain. Prove myself that I'm not trapped in a country where if you're not Somebody's daughter you won't go anywhere far. Prove myself that all the fighting, all the pain, all the guilt and the nights I just wanted to end by ANY means had a purpose. That I have a place I can go because I want to, and a home to come back if I ever need to. That maybe life made me unsensitive, but that it also made me strong.
Then, I can go. I can die, it won't matter. I'd rather live a short life and die when I'm at my most happiness that live a long life where I'm trapped and every second feels like wasted.
I'm tough, God, but you see, I'm also very practical. If a life it's useless, it's better to end it. No more wasting on Planet Earth.
So, give me five years. Five years to prove myself that I can do it if given the chance. Then if I don't make it just because of ME, well, the loss will be all mine and I will know that I just wasn't as strong and as smart as I thought. I will know what to do then, and you know this.
Five years. Two more years in which my parents will pay for my studies. Two more years of tranquility. Five more years in health without accidents. Five more years of money in the crisis.
I know it's a lot to ask. But it's just five years, they're so short in a life span. Then, you can take it all back if you want. Take my life before it becomes 30-something years old, as exchange for the time you gave me.

It's been so hard on me lately God, you know. I know that some people have worse situations; this used to make me feel better, but it doesn't anymore. Because in the end, it's my life we're talking about, my life I'm stuck with, and sometimes I can't understand why I'm here at all and it makes me feel like shit. And I'm tired of feeling that way, because even IRON breaks sooner or later. And I don't want to.

But I decided that I want to give it one more try. You know why, and only you need to know. I decided to take active part in my life again.

So, five years. That's my deal. Five years of peace. Three years that will be tough, yes, but years in which I will feel like heading for somewhere.  Then, two years of life, of happiness, of discovering. Then well, I will have had my share. It will be okay, really. I don't mean to live forever anyway.  ;P

I've been so angry at you without even knowing, I think. But I don't want to be angry at you, because you saved me once. So I suppose you saved me for a purpose, right? Well, this is my deal. It's time for me to discover that purpose. So give me the time I need. I've come up with a plan, a reasonable one, but I need some help here.
No more problems for three years. Then, life preserved for two years.
That's all.
Let's make this deal, God. In Italy we say "God helps the ones that help themselves". I will be good with me. I will motivate myself. Everytime I am tempted to forget, I'll just come back to this place and remind me again of the pact we sealed. I will help myself. So God, help me too.
I can shine for you if you give me five years, God. I can shine and make the life you gave me worth living.
So, let's make this deal.
Yours truly.
ディレッタ

17th-Apr-2009 06:59 pm - Just one minute.
ironsoul
Just one minute of peace.
One minute of tranquility.
One minute without pression.
One minute when things go well, all smoothly.
Just one minute in which I don't feel guilty, poor, oppressed, hopeless, loveless, broken, alone, useless.
Just one minute without this endless struggle, without this life in a Murphy universe.
Just one minute in which life still makes sense.

JUST

ONE

FUCKING

DAMN

MINUTE.
 


wth

Lesson table: (DONE HOLY SHIT)

Tuesday: 13-15, 16-17.30
Wednesday: 9-11, 14.30-16
Thursday: 9-11, 11-13, 13-15, 15-17
Friday: 9-11, 11-13

Due during the semester:
group paper about Algerian War (DONE HOLY SHIT)
paper about neocon in USA (DONE HOLY SHIT)
mid-term take home paper -analysis of an American document (DONE HOLY SHIT)
paper about Grotius and the Freedom of the Seas (DONE HOLY SHIT)
Japanese exercises (+  eventual tests) twice a week (DONE HOLY SHIT)
discussion about USA materials twice a week (DONE HOLY SHIT)
discussion about historical diplomatic crisis cases materials once a week (DONE HOLY SHIT)

Due at the end of Semester:
20 pages paper on an historical diplomatic crisis case
around 10-15 pages paper on USA-and-something (DONE HOLY SHIT)

Number of exams to take (adding them to the papers):
6

Books to read completely:
2 + 2 + 1 = 5

Other material besides the books:
2000+ (MORE than 2000 think) pages, 95% in English

... and I'm not even following one of the subjects T_T (aka French)
... and I have to buy food, cook food, clean the house and go home in all this
... and in all this I don't even have a boyfriend
... and there are around 30 writing contests ahead I want to take part in

HELL YEAH T_T
16th-Mar-2009 04:57 pm - Rainbow test
myvyourself

Your rainbow is strongly shaded violet.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

What is says about you: You are a creative person. You appreciate beauty and craftsmanship. You are patient and will keep trying to understand something until you've mastered it.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.
11th-Mar-2009 09:03 pm - FF otaku moment
ironsoul
I wanna meet Tetsuya Nomura tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! Shou-san you lucky bunny, I'm so envious T___T
The new FF13 trailer is made of awesome... I will have to buy a PS3 just to play that game WTF
7th-Mar-2009 11:22 am - Bonds
ironsoul
In the end, I came home. Because I really don't need another thing to feel guilty for.

Stronger. In everything, for everything. For the stuff that has happened this days, both Grandpa and not Grandpa related.

I'm not going to give up, ever. Not when I have one more person to watch me from above.

Oh please please please God, let my Grandpa and Grandma be together in Heaven.

( I really didn't know that, the fact that you sold all your rifles after Grandma died. Why? What were you afraid of? Of yourself? That's a sweet thing to do. Better, a deep one. Worth more than a lot of words.)

I dream of you
soon
reborn
beautifully
spread your wings
I wanna spread mine too

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